Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Years - Resolutions

As this decade is ending and a new year is only hours away I have been reflecting on all that I am thankful for. Many things have come to mind. Then I thought about the things I am thankful that I do not have. I have learned it is in need that I am humbled. I remain dependant on God’s provisions now and the years to come.

Thank you Lord that I do not have a clean house. There is laundry that needs to be folded AND put away, toilets to be scrubbed, dishes to be washed. Only Max (our dog) is willing to eat off my kitchen floor. Because of my two little mess makers, our home is filled with toys, and clutter. I have stuff thrown from here to there, and toys litter my floors in a daily basis. But it is also filled with laughter and joy. Thank you Lord for the mess that my children make. I am so happy to have them. We have such a great time together playing. I’m sure twenty years from now, I’ll long for these messes. Thank you that I have opportunities to play with them and let messes wait.

Thank you Lord that I don’t have a job outside of our home. Because the great care that our church provides our family, I am able to be home with my children. I get to watch them each day. I am the primary person that molds their character and teaches them the Bible. What a blessing it is to serve and love others because I can be on our schedule instead of a work schedule.

Thank you Lord that my daughter isn’t 100% healthy. When Larry and I learned of Eden’s heart condition, We prayed and gave her life to you. We know that she is yours. You entrusted her care to us. That was perhaps the hardest lesson I have learned as a parent, but it is by far the best. I know you care for Eden and Josiah more than we ever could. In the big scheme of things, her heart condition could be much worse, for that I am thankful. Twice a day as I give her medication, Twice a day I give her life to you. Thank you that she has the medication she needs. We know there is surgery ahead of us, but we trust you with our most precious gift, our child’s life.

Thank you Lord that my children are not immediately obedient. They give me daily, hourly, and sometimes minute by minute opportunities to rely on you to help me parent them well. They remind me that I am not obedient to you as I should be. I am your rebellious, sinful child. Thank you for being graceful and merciful with me. You remind me constantly that I am in need of self discipline just as they are. I need to parent with grace and mercy as well. Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever attempted.

Thank you Lord that my son still does not sleep through the night. Sadly three of my friends have lost their sons or daughters this pass year. I’m sure those Mommas long to hold their children and would never complain of being up in the middle of the night. Waking to nurse or sooth Josiah’s hurt is a privilege. Late in the night when everything is still. There is a since of wonder as he rest on my chest and we enjoy time with one another. Often I pray during these precious times, sometimes I just listen to Josiah breath. Don’t get me wrong, I would love a full night’s sleep. But I know these days will pass quickly and I cherish that you wake me in the middle of the night to have time with Josiah.

Thank you that my husband is often away when I would rather him be home with me. Ministry is such hard work. There is rarely a schedule and when there is, it can be changed in an instant when a family needs him. It’s difficult when he is called away during dinners or has meeting so many nights of the week. Yet, you have provided him a wonderful job when so many others are without one. But it’s more than just a job; it’s a calling to ministry. That is a special privilege. It is a lifestyle, not an occupation. He is able to proclaim you Truth to people who or hurting or dying. His vocation allows him to impact eternity. He loves what he does and he’s good at it. I’m proud to be his wife and his help mate in the ministry.

Thank you Lord that we are not rich. Each month I wonder if we will run out of money before we run out of days. Each month I am reminded that you provide for us exactly what we need when we need it. It never fails that when the truck breaks down you provide the money to pay for it. An unexpected bill will show up and you provide. Time and time again, You provide. We are rich beyond measure!

Like many people I have a wish list of things I would like to have. Then I remember the children in the orphanages that I work in and think of how very little they have. Those children had so little yet were so joyful. I remember how I felt the first time I returned to American soil. I thought how much I had compared to how little other had. I am ashamed to have been thinking so selfishly. I have never gone to bed hungry. I have always been blessed with clothes, shelter, transportation, education, access to medical care and a family that loves me. More importantly I have been blessed with the inheritance of heaven!

When I think of the many blessings that are given to me through Christ Jesus, I am in awe! While I was your enemy, you died for my sins, While I was years away from understanding your work in my life, you died fore my sins. Without proper way of expressing my thanksgiving for your grace, you died for my sins. How awesome is you love!

On this last day of the decade, we remember what we have to be thankful for and make resolutions for the things that we would like to change or improve. For many years I have made resolutions that were goal oriented, Like lose 10 pound or be better about sending letters and calling people. Half way through January, I have broken many of my resolutions. This year I decided to have God oriented goals. My thinking is that when I keep a heart inclined towards God, then my actions will reflect that change. It’s much easier for me to be God oriented than goal oriented. Anyways theses are my resolutions.

Lord please help me to love you more than I love my sin.

Lord please help me to love others more than I love myself.

Lord please help me be more intentional about sharing the Gospel with others.

Happy New Year!


3 for Me! said...

Awesome!!!! So many great things to be thankful for...not because they are things that we initially see as "great" but because how they call us to be faithful and rely on God or shape us as better mothers and wives!

And I just love your heart... it would be easy to complain or become bitter.... but I've learned this year that God is calling us to be thankful! Thank you for your words of encouragement now and throughout last year!

And I join you in being thankful for many of the same things!! Which was my mid-year resolution THIS year!

Joy for the Seasons said...

That was beautifully written. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Jennography said...

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing.