Monday, April 18, 2011

90 days to go!

We have 3 months to go until “Thumper” as I like to call him will be here. One of the great things about having c-section is knowing that I have a date scheduled and he’ll be here. Unless I go into labor early, then I have exactly 3 months to go until Thumper will make his appearance July 18th!

This is an exciting and scary time. I’m excited to meet and fall in love with our newest blessing, yet I’m fearful of how life will change. I went through a phase when I became pregnant with Josiah; it was a time of worry and fear. I was worried I wouldn’t have enough love to give Eden with another person needing my attention. How would I have the strength and wisdom to parent two children?
Thankfully, a dear friend encouraged me and told me that God doesn’t give Mothers a love limit that has to be shared between your children. Instead, as He grows your family, He grows your ability to love. “Love doesn’t divide, it multiplies” she said. Her words brought great comfort. As time has passed, I have found them to be true.

And added joy of having two children so close in age is that they have a best friend in the same home. I watch them each day looking after one another and encouraging one another. Don’t get me wrong. They fight it out some days so much so that they have to be put in separate rooms. But for the most part, they enjoy one another. I pray this baby will fit right in and will grow to love Eden and Josiah as his best friends.

One of the things that worries me is that is seems we have just found a balance for how to do life with two children. Now that will change. We tease we have a man to man defense plan. I get one, Larry gets the other. In about three months someone new will be added to the craziness. Then we’ll have to go to zone defense! No more one on one for us. Then comes the day after my mom and Larry’s mom leave, and Larry goes back to work and I have all three kids by myself…. Yes, I am a bit nervous about that as well.

Before Eden’s birth I was convinced I would be able to do everything all by myself. Oh how wrong I was! Now with a third C-section in my near future, I am well aware that I’ll need some help during the days that follow Thumper’s delivery. I was reminded in a Sunday school lesson that there are times when we are the blessings to others and there are times when we receive the blessings. It’s very difficult for me to accept help, much less go into things knowing I will need help. God is preparing my heart in advance, teaching me the limits of my ability only showcase the vastness of His! In my weakness and worry, I have to Trust in God’s sovereignty. It is not easy. There have been times lately that it seems there are moment by moment surrendering to the Lord. But then that is when the blessings come!

A few days ago, a friend posted this on her Facebook status and it really encouraged me. “So aware of the need for Christ and His strength as parents. pregnancy changes someone... so does the adoption process. Both are scary, risky, fearful, and so often you feel helpless and totally dependent upon God's grace because you are ever aware of your weakness.

She put into words the thoughts I’ve been having. I love how God can use friends and Scripture to bring comfort in seasons of change. I have been dealing with the worry and anxiety that comes along with this season of life. It's comforting to know others have shared in those feelings and stress. I am not alone! What a great God that brings comfort. What great blessings!


The Noonan's said...

In that first pic you look so much like Abbey! Little Thumper is such a cute bump! Praying for peace and an abundance of LOVE for all your little ones -

YaYa said...

Oh, my beautiful daughter - how I wish I could rub "little thumper" - I have called him #6 so long, thumper sounds good... You are precious to me - and I wish so much to be with you -- Please know that I LOVE you and will see you soon...xxx000xxx000 Mom

Drea said...

your so tiny! great reflections.