Not many people will remember what they were doing four years ago today, but I do. I was running around like a chicken without a head. I wonder how that saying started??? If headless chickens do run around, then that's funny.... and weird!
Anyways, This time 4 years ago, I remember sitting on my washing machine having my pre- wedding melt down. It was the night before our wedding and I was a mess. I assume that all brides go though this. I've seen some on Bridezilla, but refuse to believe I could ever act like that ;)
My house was full of family that had come in from out of town. So to have what I thought was privacy, Larry and I went into the kitchen to talk. Since then my sister told me she heard our whole conversation while she should have been sleeping on the couch. Oh well, so much for privacy.
The conversation went something like this: I can't believe how much isn't done. There were all sorts of things that I wanted, things that right now I can't remember what in the world they were, but there was a lot of them. So you know they must have been crucial if I can't remember them now right?? :) I started to Squall, a word I have recently learned living in the country. "Squallen'" means you cry so hard that your eyes turn red and puffy and snot begins to run uncontrollably down you nose. It's a pretty gruesome sight, especially to a groom-to-be! The "for better or worse" wasn't supposed to start until the next day, But boy did Larry get a full dose of worse that night!
So as I'm squallen', I'm thinking this man has no idea what to do with me right now! And bless his heart, he didn't. BUT THEN, (I love BUT THENS in stories) he hugged me and said everything would be OK. He asked what was bothering me and what he could do to fix it. Then there was some pretty serious conversation about running off to Vegas and finding an Elvis to marry us and to heck with all the unfinished details!
After laughing through that thought. I calmed down. Larry spent the next 20 minutes convincing me that the important thing was we were getting married. The silly things I was worried about were just that, silly things that were not important. What was important was we would stand before our friends and family.. and GOD and declare our love to one another for the rest of our lives. Those silly details compared to our lifetime together wasn't enough to get that upset over. Wow! Perspective! Speaking Truth in Love. Maybe this man did know what to do with me after all.
So we got married. :) There were things that didn't go right, but I don't think of that now. What I do remember is the look on Larry's face as I walked down the isle to him. I remember laughing through our wedding (we haven't stopped laughing since then.) I remember thinking I had waited so long to meet the right man and get married. Wow! He was worth the wait!!!! God gave me a wonderful man whom he had been sculpting and growing for years. Then he gave Him to me. Next to my salvation, Larry is the best gift I have ever received.
And as these past four years have flown by so quickly! We have had to deal with so many BIG life changes in such a short amount of time. I figured it out recently, I have been pregnant or nursing for 43 of the past 48 months! So much for having the wife of your youth!
Having 2 children, one with a heart condition, Finishing grad school, moving to the country, starting life in the ministry and just living life together daily has been challenging to say the least. But just like the night before our wedding, Larry has been right by my side. Loving me, speaking Truth to me, making me laugh all the time, Loving me like Jesus would.
Are we perfect? Nope. Are we best friends? Yep! Are we so in love with one another that it hurts to be apart? You betcha! Is marriage hard work? Most defiantly yes! I have know nothing else in my life that has shown me my own sinfulness as much as being married has, But I wouldn't want it any other way. Because I have also known love so purely and deeply that I can only compare it to God's love.
So to my husband,
I love you more today that I ever thought possible 4 years ago, I can only imagine how deeply we will love one another 50 years from now. :)
And I have so many things to thank you for, Thank you for taking your vows seriously. Thank you for cultivating tender affection for me. Thank you for looking at me with that twinkle in you eye that melts my heart and makes me fall more deeply in love with you each time we touch. Thank you for providing our family a wonderful home and the financial security that enable me to stay home to raise our children. Thank you for making me feel like our marriage and family are your first priority behind your relationship with God. Thank you for honoring our marriage and holding it in such high esteem. Thank you for forgiving me and loving me though my many faults. Thank you for not keeping a record of my wrongs. Thank you for the countless hours of discussions we have had about our Lord. I know Jesus better now because I'm married to you. It makes me happy to know that when God sees us He sees the two of us together as one. Thank you for loving me like Jesus would. I am a blessed woman because of you. I am always your Beloved.